3 Things Every Grown-Up Needs In Their Home
A short commencement speech for your next chapter
I graduated from college back in the days when going bare-legged was just not done.
Pantyhose were required.
Even under a cap and gown on a 94 degree day in Ohio.
Thus began the commencing of adulthood.
Excited.
Hopeful.
Sweating in awkward-to-talk-about places like an out-of-shape Rocky Balboa trying to cut weight for a boxing match that only our thighs were participating in.
We had Sheer Energy L’eggs and knew how to use them.
My favorite part of the beginning of adulthood?
Finding a place to live.
And moving in.
And buying an overstuffed green sofa with a giant pink floral pattern that my mom thought was truly awful, but that I loved with all my “I spent my entire first paycheck on a place to plop my butt” little heart.
Because in a grown-up home, people must have a place to sit.
And also,
Every grown-up home needs these 3 things:
❶ Silverware. Because you can’t eat everything with your hands.
I keep trying to make this work, but grown ups can’t live on cookies and pizza.
At some point, you’re gonna want to eat a salad. And even if that salad was delivered to your door by a teenage boy on a bicycle and includes a free set of disposable cutlery made of molded petroleum? The grown up thing to do is to eat that salad with a fork that isn’t going to break when you stab it into your greens.
As a classy, elegant, woman of a certain age with a giant sofa? You deserve to eat with a utensil that is as solid and beautifully crafted as you are.
❷ Linens. The best you can afford. Because sleeping and showering is pretty much what you’re going to be doing in your home for the majority of the time you’re there.
And if splurging on bedsheets and duvets and fluffy (but also super absorbent) towels is a crime, then I will drive the getaway car. Because how you begin and end every day of your life is important, goshdarnit.
If you’re going to be showing up as your favorite, most glimmering self every day, you should be able to come home to a nice bath and a gorgeous bed.
❸ A heartbeat. Your heartbeat. Because your home should be a place where you feel most like yourself. And like the truest version of your life is unfolding.
Where do you get a heartbeat for your home? You get it by knowing what kind of life you want to be living inside (and outside) your home.
Before you declutter or rearrange or organize a single thing.
Before you buy a basket or a bin or a brand new dining room table.
Before you do anything in or to your home, you have to imagine the life you truly want.
Because having a home you love to come home to isn’t just about all the things you can keep in your home.
It’s about all the things you can be in your home.
It’s about being the kind of person who writes in her journal at the kitchen table every morning with a cup of coffee while the rest of the house is sleeping.
It’s about being the kind of person who invites her friends over for cocktails that turn into impromptu dinners where the stories get good and the connections go deep and by the time the pint of ice cream comes out of your freezer, your eyes are sleepy and your cheeks hurt.
It’s about being the kind of person who can do Yoga with Adrienne every night. Or hosts book club every Saturday morning. Or keeps a garden of flowering plants alive on her terrace year-round.
It’s about imagining a life that feels like ease and connection and laughter—and building a home makes that life possible.
What does the truest version of your favorite life look like? That’s the heartbeat.
Once you have the heartbeat? Then, you start the decluttering and the organizing and the setting up of your home.
You have to know what you want your life to look like in order to set up your home to make that version of your life real.
So.
What if you spent the summer finding your heartbeat?
What if you didn’t worry about all the things you think you “should be doing” in your home?
What if you just spent the summer dreaming about the kind of life you want to be living when you walk through your own front door?
What if this is the summer vacation you need. So you can step into a new life in the Fall with vision, clarity, and the kind of sheer energy that doesn’t come from the drug store in an egg.
Your 2025 commencement speaker,
Vivian
PS. I’m curious. What’s the first thing you bought with your first paycheck for your first apartment? Hit reply and let me know. Or share it in the comments 👇🏼.