I Always Thought Marie Kondo Was Wrong About This

But maybe it’s not as dumb as I thought.

You know that Marie Kondo thing where she wants you to hold the potato peeler you’re getting rid of and before she’ll let you toss it in the bin, you have to close your eyes and think about all the good times you’ve had with it and thank it for peeling all those potatoes and maybe even some carrots for you?

Yeah. I always thought that was dumb, too.

I used to think it was silly to hold something in your hands and close your eyes and thank the object for being in your life. I was like…this is some weird, Phoebe Buffay woo thing for people who are into the woo and that is not me so I’m not doing it.

But I’ve changed my mind (sort of) and this is why.

Taylor Swift. The Eras Tour. Here’s the deal.

Ms. Swift has put out a whole stack of albums, each one completely different from the last. Whatever else you may think of her, she is a woman who is not afraid to switch it up and do something new and go in a different direction.

Or maybe she is afraid, and she does it anyway.

Because that is what you do when you want to live an extraordinary life.

When you want more from your life? You go and be more.

And often, more means different.

Different songs. Different costumes. Different backdrops and dance moves and feelings that can be felt.

Each album gave us a different Taylor Swift. We saw a different version of the woman in each Era because each Era required her to be a different version.

This was The Eras Tour. And this is life.

We all have our Eras. Our story chapters. Our nine lives. Sometimes the next life feels awesome and exciting. And sometimes it feels like the air is chilly and your bed is warm and what if you just stayed put for a little longer.

Wanna know why changing things up and moving on to something new is hard?

It’s because you’re not just walking away from the thing that’s ending. You’re also saying goodbye to the person that you were in that thing that’s ending.

If anything I believe to be true in the world was reinforced by the Eras Tour it’s that the single greatest thing you can ever do in your life is shimmy into a one-legged, black bodysuit you bedazzled a snake onto the night before and go strut your little butt into a stadium full of people who look nothing like you and exactly like you and Just. Be. Happy.

And also, this:

You’re allowed to evolve.

You’re allowed to change.

You’re allowed to outgrow some things and grow into other things.

You’re allowed to write and sing new songs.

And you’re not going to forget the words to all of the old songs. So you don’t have to include the old songs on your new album.

Which is to say that when you step into a new era, you’re allowed to leave behind the things that no longer belong in the new era.

This stuff that you’ve accumulated that has taken over your home? It’s not bad stuff. A lot of it is great stuff. It’s just that some of that stuff doesn’t belong in your life anymore because you’ve changed. You are not the same woman you were when these objects came into your life.

You used to need it to make your life function.
But you don’t need it anymore.

You used to want it because it made your life more enjoyable.
But it’s not really your style anymore.

You used to use it to do something you wanted to do.
But you’re not doing that thing anymore and you never use it.

You used to love it for reasons you may or may not be able to explain.
But you just don’t love it anymore. Not like you used to.

It’s great stuff. It just doesn’t belong on the album you’re currently working on.

But.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge its place in your discography.

So here is where I’ve come around to Marie Kondo’s woo-ey pre-tossing ritual.

When something ends, it’s nice to be able to say goodbye. Especially since we don’t always know when something or someone is leaving our life. And we don’t always get to say thank you. For everything.

When we do, we should.

I don’t think you need to close your eyes and beam love and gratitude to all of the inanimate, non-human, non-emotion-feeling, objects you’re tossing in a donation bag.

But I do think that there are some items that you really should take 3 seconds to pause and acknowledge that you’re closing a chapter that was and is meaningful to you. Take a minute to give a little wave to the woman who lived that chapter before you go skipping into the next.

It’s not about thanking the thing you’re letting go of.

It’s about appreciating the woman you used to be who once upon a time needed to peel some potatoes in her bedazzled bodysuit. And doesn’t ever need to do that again.

Your friend who definitely enjoys a sequined trouser,
Vivian

PS. If you’re a Swiftie and reading this, do you have a favorite Era? And is your favorite song in that Era or a different one? Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.

PPS. If you need a next step, look around your house and find 5 things that belong to an old era. Put them in a “Not On The New Album” bag. If you want to be extra, give the bag a farewell tour (scream singing the bridge if you must). But then take it straight to the donation center before it all ends up doing a Vegas-style residency in your hallway.

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If you’re overwhelmed and spiraling, I can help you take back your space:

• Date Night: Ongoing 1:1 support to help you get your whole home in order. Bit by bit. Week by week. Until you can breathe when you walk in the door. Through my Reset Everything Framework, we’ll do this together. One room at a time, one category at a time, one decision at a time. No shame. No pressure. No judgment. And I won’t let you burn out or give up along the way.

• The One-Day Sprint: Slow and steady isn’t your style? You’re a “let’s jump start this whole process” or you’re in a “I just want to get this one space, one category, one zone done-done so I can stop obsessing about it”mood? You’re a sprinter. So let’s spend an entire day together over Zoom and get that thing out of “someday” and into “done (or very, very close).”

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