The Ghost of “What If I Need This In The” Future

And also? Life is now.

I once lived in Italy.

(dramatic pause to allow for full experience of envy)

I know. It sounds so romantic and so adventurous and so Under the Tuscan Sun.

And it was.

Although Venice is not in Tuscany. And most of my adventure involved trying to stay warm when October rolled around and the friend who was supposed to be shipping my winter clothes … didn’t. And I took to wearing every item of clothing I owned. At the same time.

I felt very fashion forward and ahead of trend when years later that whole wearing a dress over your trousers situation became popular.

Why I didn’t just buy warm clothing is both unclear and unimportant. Because this story is not about my wardrobe. It’s about advertising.

Vodafone (which was the big—maybe the only?—mobile phone service provider in the country) wanted people to buy a mobile phone from them. So they came up with a slogan that was everywhere in the land of parmigiana in the Fall of 2007. Three words. You couldn’t escape.

This slogan quickly took over our lives and became a thing my friends and I would say to each other. All. The Time.

We’d see something happening on the street that was weird or funny or confusing and someone would say the slogan.

I’d be like, “Should we get pizza?” And someone would say the slogan.

“I guess we should go to class.” Slogan.

“Why are you wearing so many clothes?” Slogan.

It was getting a little ridiculous how we were using it as the response to everything. But we were powerless. This slogan was embedded in our brains like RFK Jrs. worms.

It’s still in my brain. Unlike RFK Jrs. worms. He got those things removed, right?.

You want to know the slogan, don’t you?

Life. Is. Now.

Life is now.

And the reason I bring this up is because it’s possible that you have things in your home that you don’t want, need, use, or love having in the life you are living right now.

But you’re reluctant to part with these things because of the big burning question in your mind that starts with the words: “What” and “if.”

• What if I need a gift bag for a present I want to give someone? And what if I also need a card? Why would I get rid of these perfectly good things when I might use them some day?

• What if I move into an apartment with an extra room I could use for guests? I’ll need a bedroom set, right?

• What if there’s another lockdown and I can’t go to the gym? I’ll regret getting rid of my rowing machine.

And the question asked by everyone who has ever stared into their closet and thought about donating an entire section of clothes they don’t wear anymore:

• What if I gain weight?

We’ve all asked these kinds of questions.

We’ve all struggled with letting something go that we might actually need someday.

But here’s the thing: holding onto things “just in case” is making the life you’re living right now, harder than it has to be.

Being prepared for the future is great. Until you're looking for batteries and find yourself fighting with the 472 used (but perfectly good) gift bags you’ve been holding onto “just in case” you need them someday.

Some of that stuff you've been storing has been stealing your peace for too long.

Here’s how you can decide what’s worth keeping in your home:

❶ What is the likelihood that you are actually going to need this? If you’re holding on to something for a future that isn’t coming? You can let it go. It’s sucking up your space and your energy for no reason.

❷ If you do end up needing it, are you going to want this exact thing? If the thing you’re holding onto isn’t what you’d actually want when the time comes, there’s no reason to keep it around. Let it go.

❸ If you do end up needing this exact thing and you don’t have it, will you be able to replace it? Gift bags and birthday cards are easily replaced. Your rowing machine is a bit more painful. But if you can replace it when the time comes, let it go.

Wanna see how this might play out in real life? Check out the case study in the PS.

Listen, I 100% believe in setting Future You up for success. But I also believe that Future You’s success depends on Present You being healthy and happy and wise.

Overwhelmed and anxious and out of control is not a sustainable way to live.

Peace is power.

Home is rest.

Life is now.

And if your home feels more like a storage unit than a sanctuary, holding on to a bunch of “just in case” items isn’t preparing for the future—it’s holding your present hostage. Letting go is freedom.

You deserve a home that works for you, not against you.

What are you holding on to “just in case?”

Your friend who froze in Venice,
Vivian

---

PS. As promised, a case study called: A Closet Full of Porridge Clothes.

Goldilocks needs to sort out her closet. There are too many clothes and a lot of them are not being worn because they don’t fit our heroine anymore. But she’s reluctant to part with them because someday the smaller sizes might fit her. And also? Someday she might need the bigger sizes because there are a lot of carbs in porridge, which I think is oatmeal, right?

These are the questions I’d ask her when we’re standing in her closet, surrounded by all the sizes.

❶ Why are you holding on to clothes that are too small? Is this a size that you aspire to be? And if so, when do you realistically think you’ll be able to wear these clothes?

If you’re keeping skinny clothes for inspiration and actually doing something to get back into them (with a realistic and not-so-far-away timeline), then maybe these clothes are worth keeping. Proceed to question #3.

❷ Why are you holding on to clothes that are too big? Is this a size that you will ever realistically be again?

I know we’re all afraid of the menopausal weight gain. (insert side eye) But, is your fear of having nothing to wear if you put on a bit of weight, something that is reasonable, knowing what you know about yourself and your lifestyle?

If you truly think that you’re likely to gain enough weight that you’ll need these clothes? You may proceed to question #3.

❸ If these clothes fit you right now, would you be wearing them? Would they be part of your regular rotation?

I ask this question because this is what I know is true: If you gain enough weight that you have to put on pants that are out of style or a weird color or stretched out in places that make it look like your crotch is sagging? You are not going to want to wear these pants.

Because if you have to wear them, your soul will wither. And you are not the kind of team leader who is gonna rock up at the office with your soul shrivelled up inside a ponte knit pantsuit you bought at Ann Taylor in 2014. These are not things you need to hold on to.

And if you lose enough weight that you can wear a smaller size? Everything I just said about the big pants is also true here. And also? Aren’t you gonna want to go and buy new clothes in your new size? Isn’t that the fun part of losing weight? I mean, other than the whole “being healthy” bit?

---

PPS: Next week, we’re talking about The Ghost of All the Past Lives You’ve Lived and Loved. If you know someone who needs to be part of this discussion, Share or Restack this post so they can subscribe too.