Why Do I Keep Buying Red Dresses?

Apparently every version of my life insists on having a red dress era.

When one door closes, another red dress comes into your life.

You remember the red dress that was hanging in my closet for no good reason that I finally sent to the donation bin and it broke my heart, but not really because it just didn’t have a place in my life anymore?

Wellllll, there’s now a new red dress hanging in my closet because there is clearly something wrong with me I needed something to wear to The Ball.

I know what you’re thinking.

If she hadn’t got rid of the perfectly good red dress that she loved she could’ve worn that and saved herself all the trouble and expense of going on another long and exasperating search for another red dress.

and

Shoulda kept it. You never know when you’re going to need a red dress to go to The Ball.

and

This is why we keep all of the things in our closets. Because you’re gonna need them someday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you’re forgetting some very important facts. And I am not just pointing these out to justify the gorgeous new garment hanging in the front of my closet where it can see and be seen.

❶ The old red dress was not in wearable condition. It was worn. Out. It’d been washed so many times the material was shiny in spots and thin in spots and stretched out in some very weird places.

Believe me when I say that I was never going to wear that dress again.

❷ The old red dress didn’t fit who I am anymore. I’d bought it for the version of me that existed 18 years ago. And that version hasn’t been gallivanting around in my skin for at least a decade now.

My style has changed.

My figure has changed.

My ability to not wear a bra under a strappy, unlined dress has changed.

Seriously. I was never going to wear that dress again.

❸ Listen, even if it was totally my style and in mint condition? The old red dress was not formal enough for me to wear to The Ball.

That dress was never getting worn to this event.

And this was an event that I wanted to attend.

Not just because it meant I could put on a fancy gown and be pretty while hoping that my menopausal super flasher status wouldn’t be on full display during the balancing of the clutch, the canapés, and the cocktails portion of the evening.

But because I’d been invited to The Ball by a business contact who wanted me to meet some of their friends and associates and clients so that they could learn more about the home organizing, move unpacking, and new home set up services I provide.

So, hobnobbing with potential clients and business partners.

This is the version of my life that is happening right now.

And in order to fully step into this version of my life and the opportunities that come with it? I need to be dressed for where I’m going, not where I’ve been.

Turns out, I also need to be dressed in red. Because of course I do.

I’m telling you this because I’ve written about things we hold on to (and why) and things we can let go of (and why), but I haven’t written anything about things we bring into our homes in the first place (and why) (or why not).

And clothing? Is something we’re constantly bringing into our homes.

Because our clothes are not just coverings for the not-for-public-viewing bits of our body. The clothes we put on our bodies are also what we use to present ourselves to the world.

The clothes you choose to wear help you step into rooms with confidence.

They help you hold your ground when you’re questioned.

They help you feel like you belong in every room that is full of people you’re trying to impress, partner with, or learn from.

Or they don’t.

This is why I have 4 rules for the clothing I bring into my home.

❶ Anything hanging in my closet or sitting in a drawer needs to be something that I can and will actually wear. More than once.

Unless it’s a wedding dress.

Although I would probably also apply this rule to my wedding dress and buy something that I could also wear to the supermarket if I wanted to feel fancy while I’m perusing frozen foods. Because I think that would be hilarious.

❷ Anything hanging in my closet or sitting in a drawer needs to represent the life I’m living right now. Or the life that I want to be living right now.

If you must know, I am not in my “going to gym” era. Which is why you won’t see a lot of exercise clothes in my wardrobe, even though I’ll admit that sometimes I kind of want to be in my workout era because it all looks so fit and limber and stretchy.

But that day is not today and so I don’t waste time or money or drawer space on things that are not necessary for the version of my life I’m currently living.

I can’t wait until I hit this era because I will 100% be stocking up on fashionable sportswear. If I’m going to be sweating up a storm, I am going to look like thun. der.

❸ Anything hanging in my closet or sitting in a drawer needs to fit.

This goes without saying for trousers and dresses and shoes.

I feel like it needs to also be said for things like underpants. Stop buying underpants that are too small. They’re uncomfortable and go up your butt and when your undies are boa constricting the place where your thigh needs to bend at your hip? It’s time to choose your circulation over your size.

❹ Anything hanging in my closet or sitting in a drawer needs to make me look and feel amazing when I put it on.

Because I’d rather have a few clothes that make me feel like a million bucks and wear them over and over again than have a closet full of stuff that I put on my body and go, meh.

Some people will say, “Oh that’s because you’re a minimalist.” But they’re wrong. I would totally buy an entire department store’s worth of clothes if they made me drool at my reflection in the mirror. I am not a minimalist. I am smart.

I hate the feeling of getting dressed in the morning and feeling like nothing looks great on me.

So I’m going to make sure that my closet doesn’t let that happen.

Showing up for your life is easier when your clothes already believe in who you are.

And apparently who I am in all of the versions of my life so far? Is always in a red dress era.

Your underwear-opinionated friend,
Vivian

If you found this valuable, someone else will too. SHARE or RESTACK this post so they can see it.